Empowering yourself… What does that even look like?
It looks like getting soulful answers to those disempowering, depressing (ie shitty) questions we ask ourselves.
You know the ones… “Why me?!”, “What did I do to deserve this?”, “Why do I always fuck things up?”.
Those questions are hard work. They actively create the space for depression, fear and self-doubt to grow. Which then feeds those questions with more power, and a cycle begins.
So how do we solve this?
Nobody wants to stay in that space. It’s just that finding the answers to break the cycle can seem impossible if we’re not looking in the right place.
A lot of people turn to self-help material, and it can be inspirational and motivational. But… maybe you’ve noticed this too… it doesn’t really get to the core of the problem for most people.
Real change comes from being willing to ask questions and to get answers.
Being inspired isn’t enough. Motivation doesn’t last long. We need to create sustainable change. And that starts with a conversation.
While those (shitty) questions might be hard work, sometimes they’re all we’ve got. And starting there is just a good a point as any.
I’m a big fan of getting answers. And seeing ourselves differently through the answers that we get.
Because we build up strength and courage the more we ask the questions and receive the answers from a higher source of information, rather than relying on old fears and past experiences to guide us.
We break the cycle of disempowerment by actively seeking out answers.
What if you ask that question of “Why do I always fuck things up?” and expect an answer to it?
What if that answer came in the form of a higher, more powerful, more insightful, spiritual voice that said…
“You’re not a fuck up, which is what you’re really implying with that question. You’re just not focused on who you truly are. And when you do things out of alignment with who you truly are you ‘fuck it up’, as you say, because it’s not meant to happen. You’re being saved from yourself and isn’t that a good thing. Wouldn’t you rather walk a more direct pathway through life?“
Now, it might take a little practice to move from feeling very hard done by to getting a full-blown answer from God/Source/Soul/Higher Mind (whatever you want to call it is fine) like that.
What I’m saying that there IS an answer that you can receive which will change your entire perspective on life.
And I’m saying that if you’d rather be actively engaged with a better perspective on yourself (because that would be more fulfilling and empowering, and cause you to take better actions to create better results in your life…) then this is a pathway to get there.
And it’s pretty straightforward.
You can start now to get those soulful answers…
A few years ago, I began to ask my clients to do this one simple thing: buy a notebook and call it The Question Book.
And then to do this:
Take the time to write out ALL the questions you have about yourself, your life, your experiences.
Even if they are angry, hurtful, enraged questions. Even if it is just ‘Why the did I have to go through this!!!’ or ‘Why am I being punished?!!’
You might have calmer questions too – ‘Should I seek out a new job?’ or ‘Should I follow through on this business idea I have?’.
Then, whenever you have a question come to mind through the day write it in the book.
Write it down and close the book again.
Don’t worry about how it’s going to be answered. Just ask the question.
At the end of each week review your questions.
What you’ll notice is that some of them have been answered, or you’ve received partial answers for others. Some of them will still be in line waiting to be solved too.
The point being that answers are flowing, but you may not have been conscious of them because it all happened in the normal day to day running of things.
What books did you read, who did you run into on the street, what blog post did you read, what ideas did you have… that provided answers?
The thing I’ve noticed for myself doing this exercise is that even those shitty, hard questions have some kind of answer. And when we receive it, we feel better and become less inclined to be so hard on ourselves.
We see ourselves differently through every answer we get. Then, bit by bit our self-image is cleaned up because we begin to think differently too. From there we take very different actions in our lives, leading to different results. And isn’t that what we wanted all along?!