I had what I considered a strange email recently from someone who had purchased several courses from me over the past 7 or 8 years. It said:
The problem was, she highlighted, that she didn’t know why I charged in US dollars. And she wanted to know why the address at the bottom of my emails was in the US. (I’ll tell you the answer to both these questions below…)
I wondered if I should ignore it. But I felt the need to respond because I respected that she’d been part of my business for a long time.
So I sat for a moment considering my response. What did it matter where I was located, what did loyalty to my country have to do with it, and why was she upset enough to send me a passive aggressive email about it?!
I sat for another beat. I was happy to charge her in Australian dollars if she wanted to purchase something and I could tell her that. Any of my local clients can pay by bank transfer in Australian dollars. I’m always happy to accommodate. That’s just good business 🙂
But then I asked myself if I wanted to accommodate her. By this point I was feeling a tad insulted. That was my stuff, for sure. Then again, it’s also my business.
That’s when I saw it… There was an undertone of nationalism in the email that made me VERY uncomfortable. The intrusiveness of that wasn’t something I was ok with. Besides, it felt like I was being roused on by my mother. And that just wasn’t cool 😉
So, I had to ask myself: Did I mind if she was no longer a customer?
Before I share my answer…
I was writing out a list of topics for these new daily emails as I was eating my lunch today. And one of them was trusting your intuition when it came to customers and other business contacts.
Boundaries built through your intuition are an amazing thing. Because they cause growth. And they clean up your space. Moreover, they protect your sanity and the sanctity of your OWN space.
I’ve had tough conversations with clients in the past that verged on insulting or were outright intrusive. And my answer to that question above was different in different cases.
In this case my answer was: No. I didn’t mind if she was no longer a customer.
Because my intuition told me that she was no longer welcome! And she was no longer welcome because she crossed a line. That line wasn’t her words. It was her intention. Her intention was to attempt to control, through imposing her sense of nationalism into my space.
However, the intuitive answer at other times has been yes – I did mind if they were no longer a client or customer.
Because, for instance, my intuition told this person really wanted help and guidance. They were just in a space of overwhelm and their intention was not to hurt, they seeking an expression of their own pain.
Boundaries, that is, are appropriately placed when we see a person’s intention rather than just their words.
And we can’t necessarily see INTENTION without INTUITION. Because intention runs deeper into the core of a person’s behaviour.
So I asked the Teachers to guide me and let the words flow…
I told her the Teacher’s message was worldwide and not limited to Australia.
I said that I charge in US dollars because it’s a more recognised currency – worldwide. And besides, over 50% of my subscribers and followers are in the US!
And I advised that the US address at the bottom of the email is there because I’m using Convertkit’s address while I sort out a new mailing address for my business. This fulfils all legal requirements and is ok’d by Convertkit too. (Convertkit is the CRM program I use to send all my newsletters and course material.)
I was direct. I just wasn’t willing to allow her any further into my space. There was a very clear wall up. And she responded by unsubscribing from the mailing list. I’m 100% ok with that. Because I followed my intuition.
With the Teachers guidance, over the years, I’ve become less interested in trying to please everyone. (Especially over things that have NOTHING to do with me! And certainly over things that I’m fundamentally opposed to as a human being – that is, ideas that segregate, promote hatred, or attempt to dominate.)
This has helped me to be clear on my own boundaries, which in turn protects my energy levels, motivation, and ability to help others.
So the question I want to pose to you today is this:
Are you listening to your intuition when it comes to putting up boundaries, or are you worried about losing customers?
Because trying to help everyone can lead to a very fragile psychic and emotional space. And ultimately that will harm your business!
Sometimes just a simple question and a check in with yourself is all you need to answer that question. And keep your sanity intact 🙂
Monique + the Teachers