Being wrong can be hard work, right!
We want to be right. We want to protect ourselves. We want to feel in control. But why is that? What’s wrong with being wrong?
A lot of people I coach confuse being wrong with being unworthy or incapable. There’s a sense that being right is the only way of feeling stable and in control.
But it’s a false stability.
Because on closer inspection being wrong is not good or bad. It’s just what it is. It’s just a passing moment in life that we are judging as one thing or another.
And when we begin to see that we don’t need to judge the situation as good or bad, we give ourselves a fighting chance at self-love, worthiness, inner-growth. We begin to walk towards that elusive “inner-peace”.
So where do you start?
Here’s a recent personal experience, and the intuitive guidance that I got on how to bring a bit of peace back to the situation…
Say you are in an argument with someone. You’re feeling hurt by something they did. They’re telling you they did nothing wrong.
You feel they were disrespectful. And being told that you’re wrong, and they’re right, is making you feel even more disrespected and hurt.
But you begin to see that it’s threatening for them to look at their own behavior. You sense they can’t feel safe if they are wrong.
And because they feel threatened they’re continuing to make decisions that are hurtful to you.
So… what can you do?
There’s really only one option. You’re at an impasse with them, so have to look to yourself instead. And you realize that you have a choice.
You can, in fact, follow the little intuitive nudge you’re getting. The one telling you to apologize…
Although you’re hurt by their behavior you didn’t handle the situation well. You reacted badly to what they did which set off the argument in the first place.
You can apologize for that. You can recognize the ego in your own reaction. And choose to value the relationship over and above the ego.
So you do that, they accept, and you instantly feel better because you’ve taken control over your own space, by taking responsibility for your response to the situation.
Now that you’re looking more deeply at yourself… you might notice that this doesn’t fix the original problem. They did hurt you and you now need to dig a little deeper to find out exactly why. What did their behavior remind you of? What old wound did it touch on? Why did the ego have sooo much control in the first place?!
Allowing yourself to be wrong now turns into a space of inner-growth for you. Remember that you can’t change what they’re feeling – they may not be ready, and it’s not your responsiblity anyway. You can only take responsibility for your own response to the situation. And they can, and will, do whatever it is that they need to do in this moment.
When we let ourselves be wrong, and take control over our role in the situation, we ensure that we’re not wrapped up in the other person’s behavior. We create our own response and therefore our own experience of life.
And that’s real personal power and that’s the key to building inner-peace! It’s not about being right or wrong, it’s 100% about how you respond to the challenge.